大切な人とは、何かをしてくれる人ではない。何かを持っている人でもない。何かができる人でもない。人間的な触れ合いができ、近くにいるだけで、自分にとって意味と価値のある大切な感情を心に湧き上がらせてくれる人のことだ。穏やかな安心感、元気で明るい気分、喜び溢れる楽しい気持ち、いつもの雰囲気など、自分にとって好ましい心の状態を無意識の内に生み出してくれる人である。
心の顕在領域に湧き上がるはっきりとした感情は、すぐ分かるが、潜在領域に静かにやって来る感情は、顕在化させることが難しい。これは、把握し難く意識的なコントロールが難しい分、人に与える影響が大きい。この種の感情にも、人を左右する重要な意味と価値が存在しているということだ。このような目で見れば、「空気のような人こそ大切な人」であることが分かる。
自分にとって大切な人は、自分との関係性の中で生まれるものだ。全人格的な触れ合いの中で大切な人となる。大切な人は、「どの人にとっても大切な人」ということも考えられるが、自分にとって大切な人は、普通、他人にとっては、「ただの人」である。この意味で、テレビに現れるスターは大切な人にはなり得ない。
「自分にとって都合の良いことをしてくれる人が大切な人だ」と言う人もいる。しかし、人間にとっての意味と価値は心の中で決定される。自分にとって都合の良いことをしてくれても、気付かず、或いは、理解できず、心に何も湧き起こらなければ意味を為さない。
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